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December 8, 2013
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in 1886, Sigmund Freud employed free association;
the idea that a sick patient, terminally crippled with a nameless plague,
could list off the reasons why his bed sheets had holes in them.
paraphrased: the art of free speech.

my mouth is a gun and your name is a shooting range.
damp grass, our backs, semantics.

the psychoanalysts say we establish long-term memory
by stringing it all with prior meaning.

a flurry of sweatshirts and ripped jeans, stroking skin
in sign language only lovers speak.
hands, tongue, everything else.

Freud said that sometimes, a cigar is only a cigar.
i tell him how smoke spilled from your mouth into mine.
stale breath and gentle fingers probing, squeezing,

free associating.

i trace my steps back to the night we crushed leaves into potpourri.
the scent of cold coffee permeated into the forest,
the tree roots soaking up our caffeine.

i remember you most clearly in the heartbeat between page turns.
you are full and real, the lump in my throat.
you are the holes in my bed sheets.
full title: neo-Freudian ideals, or, loneliness for the psychoanalyst 

i'm still in this place, i suppose
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:iconirixian:
It's difficult for me to be objective about your work. From a technical point of view, you are nearly beyond reproach. Your use of punctuation and word choice to set and break tempo throughout the poem is simply inspired. The length of the lines, the breadth of the stanzas and the oscillation from simple words to achingly specific ones keeps me nailed to the page.

Your running metaphor here is well executed, both deftly interwoven and subtly reinforced throughout. The way you are capable of taking simple things we've all experienced - crushing leaves - and turning them into something elegant and utterly new - crushed leaves into potpourri - is incredible.

Your writing is dynamic and energetic and gravid with emotion. I love it.

But...and there is always a "but" because we are never, none of us, perfect.

As I've followed your poetry over the past year, I've assembled a picture of a manling who did your heart a fair bit of damage. Though eloquently posed and brilliantly illuminated, I'd love to see something else take the place of its strength as the core of your creativity. That is not to say that any part of anything you've done is less than awesome - because nearly all of it is exactly that - but rather to suggest that my interest in your talent begs to see another facet.

You are amazing. I've experienced poets both professional and amateur who would gape at your ability, and though I seldom write poetry, I hope to be able to steal something of yours to better myself the next time I feel the need to sonnet on something ;)

Keep it up. You are a magnificent talent.
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Fantastic, love. I really like this.
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013  Student Writer
thank youuu :heart:
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:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure :heart:
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:icontajiklove:
Tajiklove Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Wow.  This is excellent!!!  I love how you returned back to the holes in the bedsheets.  I also enjoyed how you went between Freudian theory and personal experience.  Please keep writing!
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
ahh thanks so much; such a sweet comment!
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) and has been selected as our “Pick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here and on our main page.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Student Writer
thank you, thank you!
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:iconaj-dion:
AJ-Dion Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
I REALLY like this.  Love the "holes in my bedsheets" :D (Big Grin) 
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013  Student Writer
thanks!
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