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September 25, 2013
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loyal branding, you called it
when visitors carved hieroglyphics into the cracks of your chest.
you said the Egyptians knew better than to
break you open again.

before we lost our luster, we stargazed on pyramid tops
hoping to see the point in all the alignments.

i blinked in time with my footsteps and
you counted my movement with syncopation.

you measured me
like sugar in hot tea
like teeth on a knife.

your travels took you across my body
more like a tourist than a person.
it was as if we didn't belong on the same journey.

you picked at the pieces of me
that cried for mending
that cried for more.

you touched every cursive crevice with
the tip of your tongue and spelled
move on
in morse code.

i couldn't let go.
not with you circling me into a cage
not with you boxing me in.

you stored me on the highest shelf of your memory.

half of me wished that you would always remember
the smell of my neck at 2 in the morning.
half of me wished you would forget i existed.
this is all over the place

help
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:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This first stanza is incredible. I love this entire thing, it's wonderful. <3
Reply
:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Student Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
My pleasure! :)
Reply
:icondamecharlie:
damecharlie Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
I love it. But considering my poetry is all sorts of jibberish, that could mean nothing. LOL.
Reply
:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013  Student Writer
hahaha i'm sure you're very talented! i'm glad you liked it :)
Reply
:icondietcocaine:
dietcocaine Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013   Writer
It does feel very scattered but I think another reference to the Egyptians at the end would help that a lot. Sort of bring it around full-circle.
Otherwise, really great stuff.
Reply
:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Student Writer
thank you for your suggestion! is there a certain section of the piece that you think that final mentioning would be most effective?
Reply
:icondietcocaine:
dietcocaine Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013   Writer
I would try it with the second stanza moved to the end.
Reply
:iconpaintandpencil-art:
paintandpencil-art Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
wow. that was interesting. was it random ramblings or insparation?
Reply
:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Student Writer
a mixture of both!
Reply
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