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on the night of salt and leftover secrets, i tell him about
the Pacific Ocean, how in Mexico, they say that it does not
retain memory.

you can walk to the edge and curl a million secrets
under your tongue and spill them all at once and
the water will drop them the second it picks them up.

he and i have never been fond of life jackets and the Pacific Ocean
is much too deep to swim in. if you look closely, you can see the
floating bodies of those who tried to cheat love but drowned in the process.

see, humans are not like the Pacific Ocean. try as we might,
we will never forget the taste of robust love or the way a smile
feels after a long day of bearing burdens.

listen, the Pacific Ocean breaks in waves.
all we hear nowadays is each other’s silence;
the water swallowed all of our words and forgot they existed.

he and i will go swimming, desperately searching for them.
within minutes, our bodies will become martyrs for a cause
we’ll never be able to remember.
i don't know i'm trying i guess
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:iconneonsquiggle:
neonsquiggle Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love it so much. Your imagery is haunting. 
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jul 18, 2014  Student Writer
thank youu
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:iconxomegaxx:
XomegaXX Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Sometimes you  feel like you can only say that you love someone so many times before the words are just sound.

Sometimes they do.
Sometimes they meant everything all along.

I love your metaphor.
Sorry about all the random comments. I'm exhausted and rambling.
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:iconpepperpeck:
PepperPeck Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
the last stanza is marvellous !
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014  Student Writer
thank you!
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
soooo in Mexico, the Pacific has no memory... but in say, CA, it would? that part confused me
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student Writer
in the Mexican culture, it is believed that the Pacific does not retain memory

i'm not too sure about other cultures
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:iconvespera:
vespera Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
oh I've never heard that o.0
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:iconpantstrovich:
Pantstrovich Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014   General Artist
Oh man, this poem's story is so familiar to me.
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2014  Student Writer
i'm sorry. 
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:iconpantstrovich:
Pantstrovich Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2014   General Artist
Sad Hug - Updated 
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:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like this would be a pretty good slam piece. 
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Student Writer
most of what i write is spoken aloud haha, so thank you!
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:iconinkstaineddove:
inkstaineddove Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Haha then I guess I was right in that. You're welcome!
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:iconchasingxaimee:
chasingxaimee Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Writer
i really, really enjoyed this. while i am not a critic, i just want to note:

"the water will drop them the 
second it picked them up. "
incorrect verb tense--picked should be picks, unless that is intended.
would prefer someone to tell me, but if that is intended, disregard my statement.
(if it is intended, it just didn't read well from this reader's perspective.)

"
do you see the rivered calluses? 
does your rough skin even notice my blisters?" love it. :)

Reply
:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Writer
no thank you for the help!!

are you sure though? because i feel like grammatically, the way i have it is correct...
i'm probably wrong though
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:iconchasingxaimee:
chasingxaimee Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Student Writer
yeah--not to sound like a jackass in any way--i'm sure. lol.

unless i am misunderstanding the context, which could be possible.
i read it at least 20 times to make sure.

you CAN WALK to the edge and CURL a million secrets
under your tongue and SPILL them all at once, and
the water--the water WILL DROP them the
second it PICKS them up. (that was my interpretation of how it would read.)

otherwise, the water WOULD DROP the second it PICKED them up, but you aren't writing in that tense.
(or another way, that's just an example, but that would go against all other lines in the poem.)

in reading that section, picked sounds wrong every time i read it.

you can walk to the edge and curl a million secrets
under your tongue and spill them all at once and
the water - the water will break them the
second it picks them up.

It WILL DROP the second it PICKED them up.
That sentence can be grammatically correct, but it's not grammatically correct with regard to the rest of the poem (in my mind).

Sorry, I am trying to make sure to check myself.
Don't say you're probably wrong... I am just saying what I have read, and I'm 99.9 percent sure on this.
(I refuse to ever be 100 percent sure on anything.)

However, it also depends on your definition of the word drop in this poem.
I could be wrong. So that could be why.

Otherwise, I'm sure.
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:iconlearningtobefree:
learningtobefree Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Student Writer
haha i'm sure you're correct; i fixed it. thank you!
Reply
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June 2, 2014
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